I don’t know where to start. I haven’t been writing much on this site mostly because my life got more interesting – I mostly stopped the depression thing, got more energy, which drove me nuts in new ways :D, so I decided to shoot it wildly in all directions including relocating to various new countries in a row, attempting to start … 3 new professions, I think, if I didn’t forget any; failing very painfully at one, and painlessly at another. Short journey back into burnout, recovering, more travel to recover more; some sparks of my “old” self (more like my “young” self, the one in my 20s when I had energy to constantly travel and relocate just out of innate anthropological and naturalistic curiosity. The one that had enough physiological buffer to indulge crazy ideas and risk thrills.). I saw a bunch of new countries and landscapes. That is good.
I also find that a lot of my writing on here has been trauma digestion – it’s definitely cheaper than therapy, and it’s great actually to do it collectively to some degree – from time to time receiving messages of people who relate. A form of peer-support.
I think when getting a break from the inner pressure to externalise and digest pain, I’ve been finding it harder to “write into the void” – less motivation when I don’t feel an internal pressure to figure something out. When I’ve already digested it non-verbally. When I don’t need so many words anymore to digest stuff.
I’ve also noticed that, on the other hand, when someone requests my input in a relevant area, I probably write them far too much – it’s fun. It’s stuff other people might actually also want to read.
I keep thinking that there is a type of “consultancy” work that I really enjoy doing, mostly with autistic people who are neurodivergent in other ways too, or queer, or near-psychic, or in some other rare situation that’s mostly very hard to tell anyone about and have them understand more than gibberish.
These situations happen for the most part coincidentally – people just ask me stuff. I can see the patterns and get excited advising on specifics in great detail. I never know when it’s gonna happen again. It’s energising, though – wondering if there is a way to invite it more. More on that might follow.
And yeah, I actually wanted to write a post where I complain about Martha Beck again. As I keep inflicting self-help books on myself, I realise despite all she probably hacked the life coaching matrix for neurodivergents better than ADDCA (where I’m also taking basic training). Done and put it up here.