3 self-centred strategies for writing under fatigue, the eternal Aleph, and the Octopus.

Let's see if I can apply my aforementioned teachings on fatigue to writing. Tired of it. But you could also say, reaching the point of fatigue was one of the points of the experiment: so that I'll have an opportunity to ask myself, how can I still do what I committed to, but with low … Continue reading 3 self-centred strategies for writing under fatigue, the eternal Aleph, and the Octopus.

Fatigue, psychophysical optimisation games, and Lao Tzu

Since I've missed out on writing yesterday, let's see if I can get two random topics together today. Yesterday I couldn't write because I tired myself out too much with a long hike and having woken up in the early morning (too little sleep). I then started writing a post about fatigue, and how I've … Continue reading Fatigue, psychophysical optimisation games, and Lao Tzu

Intense, complex, driven

Yesterday, in the post I published today, because yesterday I found it too pointless, I've mentioned my progressive and fairly cyclical identity explorations. Unpacking layer after layer of the onion, the onion being why on earth everything is so weird and it seems so undoable to live as an adult, or to "live like others" … Continue reading Intense, complex, driven

Inner rhythm versus daily discipline?

Already on day 2 of my "let's try to write every day" experiment (related to nanowrimo.org), this feels relatively wrong. I think the price for it is banal content. Or at least, unripe, unstructured content. Beginnings of thoughts, but not really the fruit that's perhaps actually worth sharing. On the other hand, reflections on the … Continue reading Inner rhythm versus daily discipline?

Resistance and desire, studied with the example of acquiring books

I just ordered and received Francis Weller's "The Wild Edge of Sorrow". I haven't gotten beyond the introduction yet, but the resistance to buying that book was remarkable – despite the recommendation coming from a reliable source (Karla McLaren and the Dynamic Emotional Integration course, possibly my best source of book recommendations this year). Frankly, I … Continue reading Resistance and desire, studied with the example of acquiring books

The queer book of body and emotions

I have been trying now for some time to formulate the overarching theme of the personal research I've been doing over the last years, seemingly jumping across areas, taking up new topics and dropping them, migrating across topics. It would be nice to write a book – actually that's what I'd already set my mind … Continue reading The queer book of body and emotions

Recycling ruined canvasses is like working with your past.

In a previous post I have documented the process of ruining a simple landscape sketch.  Since I don't like wasting canvasses (or wasting paint), I keep occasionally trying to somehow "fix" or improve the situation of that horrible canvas.  I figured out that one of the reasons I ruin sketches is that by adding more … Continue reading Recycling ruined canvasses is like working with your past.

Messing with representational painting preserving the fun of the abstract #1

My recent project is to go from copying to painting without any models, based on imagination and memory.  The copied work so far certainly looks more decent (see here). However, it's also annoying to not be able (or scared) to just paint visual thoughts, dreams and visions, and these things.  I've spent quite a long … Continue reading Messing with representational painting preserving the fun of the abstract #1