Grief, memory, synchronous time

Motivated to write mostly because of a reduced availability of humans to talk to for hours. So let's just send out speech, produce speech "as if" it were somehow meaningful without a specific listener, to the "internalised other" (which one?), or as a magic spell. The anonymous listener of the internet, some handy magic. Thoughts …

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Gara de Nord

It's about 12 years since I arrived at Gara de Nord at 6 AM, having crossed the Danube on a night train in the spring, in a crazy scent of ... jasmine? I'm not sure, some very sweet, aromatic flower in warm, moist southern air. Probably not jasmine. I don't know what grows on these …

On hyper-empathy in the age of cities, strangers, mass and social media

Despite my attempts at basic witchcraft training in that regard, when attempting to leave my hermit’s cocoon and participate further in (some semblance of a) social life, I see the same old problem up-surging, the same ones that brought me into hermitage in the first place. There are people who are unbelievably wounded and whose …

Shadow work in depression hacks

As part of a certification course I've recently forced myself to read "Owning your own shadow" by Robert A. Johnson. This was on the way, literally on the train to a lengthy and intense extended family visit back in Poland. The book initially irritated the logic-and-facts oriented part of my mind with its vague metaphysical …

The new strategy with grief, sadness and depression

Inspired by almost a year of working through Karla McLaren's Dynamic Emotional Integration model, and more recently specifically by Jessica Moore's articulate video on situational depression (the one that comes closest to my felt truth on the matter so far), I have recently on a long train ride taken up the resolution to try out …

The queer book of body and emotions

I have been trying now for some time to formulate the overarching theme of the personal research I've been doing over the last years, seemingly jumping across areas, taking up new topics and dropping them, migrating across topics. It would be nice to write a book – actually that's what I'd already set my mind …

Guitar messing about making up chords (sound journal)

So it seems like I can mostly only write when I'm down; or very solitary. Seems like that's when I have the drive to. https://soundcloud.com/sasha_tramp/morning-guitar-improv-april-10 It seems though that there is still the possibility of talking through music, typically the more direct form of expression. This morning I decided to play around with modifying chord …

One year of hyper-empathy

This blog is about a year old now. Since my life has shifted quite a bit since I've started writing it, I keep thinking about re-branding or re-conceptualising what this is about. Actually the subject I might have the most things to say on recently is "survival in Berlin". Perhaps it's also relationships. Yes, I …

Getting half a handle on some basic trauma-digestion processes

I usually don't write about the good times on here because writing is mostly my tool for getting through the tougher times. When I'm well, I stay off screens; I stay outdoors, or around people without distracting myself with electronic devices. Some thoughts have been circulating lately around the topic of trauma healing (in this …