We are the world. (How to live in it when you care and often feel it’s apocalyptic.)

A personal response to a bunch of fundamental questions thrown open by a friend. On the state of the world. Ecology, politics, disaster, apocalypse, social injustice — recap on the ancient "suffering in the world" question. Attempts at living sensitive and open, not go either numb or crazy, perhaps be useful. From a moderately privileged, queer autistic first/second-world perspective. (Spoiler: non-political, ahimsa, empaths, buddhism, zarathustra, and nuanced hope. Despite topic no trigger warnings, presumably safe to read.)


What does autism have to do with cultural outsiderhood? On aspies, third culture kids and hybrids.

Reflections on similarities and cross-connections between being a cultural outsider (migrant, third culture kid, cross-cultural, bilingual) and conceptualising aspie-style autism as a (sub)cultural difference. Life experiences and resources.

A sensory seeker’s awkward yet fascinating journey in dance improvisation. Features funny aspie moments, touch, pressure and interoception.

A somewhat questionable post on dance improvisation, body awareness (feeling the internal states and thoughts of the body), proprioception, interoception, and (perhaps) specifically autistic movement needs (from my personal perspective; no general rules). Includes embarrassing dance club stories and a theory on craving movement, weight and resistance as desperately needed proprioceptive grounding when your proprioception is by nature foggy / hypo-sensitive.

Is it wise to think of mental health crises as shamanic awakenings? Features positive disintegration, post-traumatic growth, and self-delusion.

Bookish and theory (but also exhibitionist personal) post on whether what's called "mental health crises" in contemporary parlance is equally well – or better – conceptualised as either the necessary growth pains of personality development (Dąbrowski's Theory of Positive Disintegration; post-traumatic growth theorists) or the breakthrough moments in spiritual development (Brogan, McLaren, and lots of others including New Age shamanism). Includes bibliographical and Pink Floyd references. 

Does suppressing your sensitive intensity suck the juices out of your life?

I knew I had a lot of quirks – even as a very young child I was vaguely aware that there seemed to be something special about my perception that others didn't share. I could look at the structure of tiny things like leaves, grass or beetles for a long time. I could observe ants … Continue reading Does suppressing your sensitive intensity suck the juices out of your life?

The heart of darkness. A true story about clairvoyance and queer-dating crazy scientists.

This was another internet blind date; in the picturesque market square of an Eastern European provincial town boasting a city hall with an original Renaissance facade; artists trading sketches in the archways of crooked, colourful toy houses. I didn't know anything about her apart from the fact that she knew exotic spices and was a … Continue reading The heart of darkness. A true story about clairvoyance and queer-dating crazy scientists.

The autistic type of gender dysphoria?

This is another one about the intersection of being autistic and transgender. Content alert: talks of periods, bras, and such (if that freaks you out, as it does for me occasionally). I have described the painful way in which I lived through the switch from (genderless) "child" to "woman" here, after having read a few … Continue reading The autistic type of gender dysphoria?