I'll do another pain-digestion, self-analysis post though. Just to get going writing again.Also, having "a life" (attempting to interact with broader society more), it's harder to blog without giving specifics and details. Which I don't like. Apparently my concept of "privacy" is pretty inverted – no problem laying my feelings and dilemmas bare before the … Continue reading Exploring ADD: the ill-defined inner itch, addiction, putting the horse in front of the right cart
On Pete Walker's book about Complex PTSD, the Fawn response to emotional neglect, how sensitive we are and how confusing mind-reading can become the habitual response to confronting humans.
Another post on how to cope with intuitive gifts (or liabilities) that come without a manual, or when your inner life apparently isn't only *your* inner life. Trauma-informed and psychologically literate, non-esoteric perspective.
This article is written from the perspective of people who randomly experience things like "sensing presences" and some types of out-of-body experiences, in addition to intuitive coincidences and sometimes the whole range of depersonalisation phenomena – explicitly not from the perspective of people who actively seek this kind of thing and/or project hopes of awesome powers … Continue reading How to cope with your intuitive gifts?
Being me for me always implies some degree of being you. My nature doesn't come with built-in walls and noise cancellation and convenient, numb dampening. It must be comfortable to be cushioned, exposed largely only to your own thoughts. I can do that if i am alone in the forest. Or if i live very … Continue reading Being you
This sound gesture is about maintaining my voice, in the face of car noise, birds and people outside the window. Interference. . https://soundcloud.com/sasha-supertramp/voice . All my life, it has been extremely hard – if not impossible – to hear, notice, feel myself when thrown into the tumble drier (or, more a washing machine) with all … Continue reading Finding and maintaining a voice … in music and life (incl. improvised piano audio track)
This post has a soundtrack, me asking a bunch of questions on the piano. https://soundcloud.com/sasha-supertramp/questions . Can you hear the questions? - space to guess what the main question was - . Somehow I've been dwelling in nonverbal land, still there. Emotions, sounds, sights, shapes, colours, feelings, patterns, rhythms, movements, metamorphoses. Waiting for the periodic … Continue reading Can you hear the questions? (in today’s piano improv soundtrack)
I can't stand "reading" music, I can't stand sheet music, I can't stand music lessons. You too? I can't play by ear too well either, can't sing on pitch and sometimes find it hard to tune a guitar (I can hear two tones are different, which the heck is higher?). But I still love producing … Continue reading How to learn the piano by feel: grey day meditation. (Improvisation.)
I've been planning to write a post about solitude, loneliness and isolation for a while. Is solitude good or bad? Everyone thinks it's bad. And I'm crazy I got myself into it. Then why the heck did I get myself into it? Is hiding yourself away in the country for months without having a face-to-face … Continue reading How to walk the tightrope between social burnout and agonising isolation?