The “waking up from a nightmare” experience

For the last two years approximately, I have entered a living situation that was a continuous, multiple-times-a-day "trigger" (however much I dislike the term) for a long and partly intergenerational C-PTSD story around migration. In brief, I was living in the country whose mere language sets off reactions in me that are (seriously and by … Continue reading The “waking up from a nightmare” experience

Transformation & multiplicity leading over to ahamkara and neurotribes

I'm trying quite hard, at least in my imagination (:D) to not let this blog die, but possibly still its time has come. Paradoxically the reason is having a certain readership that reduces the sense of anonymity and thus the scope for indulging freely into self-therapy through rambling, in between writing more analytic pieces about … Continue reading Transformation & multiplicity leading over to ahamkara and neurotribes

How to cope with your intuitive gifts?

This article is written from the perspective of people who randomly experience things like "sensing presences" and some types of out-of-body experiences, in addition to intuitive coincidences and sometimes the whole range of depersonalisation phenomena – explicitly not from the perspective of people who actively seek this kind of thing and/or project hopes of awesome powers … Continue reading How to cope with your intuitive gifts?

Is it better to repress desires or suffer the emotions of unfulfillment?

While being fried about my frustrations by a wise person yesterday, I realised that apparently I have adopted over the last year or two a survival strategy that I had once looked down on when implemented by my mother: The strategy of avoiding, hiding, pushing out of mind your desires when it is clear that … Continue reading Is it better to repress desires or suffer the emotions of unfulfillment?

A defense of self-pity

A colleague on one of my (perpetual, futile) PhD programs had a huge poster hanging in the office showing a majestic Eagle and saying something to the effect that animals never pity themselves [so – implied – you shouldn't as a human PhD student]. I've often seen this sentiment beaten up, but never quite understood … Continue reading A defense of self-pity

What do you call a trip guide journeying in implicit memory?

I've written about adventures in implicit memory a while ago. Apparently, there's a type of memory in which everything is simultaneous – or, at least, whenever something is recalled, it feels just as if it were present. In neuroscience and psychology, the standard terms are explicit vs. implicit memory, where the former is verbal-based and … Continue reading What do you call a trip guide journeying in implicit memory?

Chewing on and trying to digest Martha Beck.

I'm struggling a bit with Martha Beck these days. I've gone back to continue reading her book "Finding your way in a wild new world", which is the oddest mix of things, yet turns out relatively coherent. Despite the non-informative title, the content of the book seems to be hear 4 or so years of … Continue reading Chewing on and trying to digest Martha Beck.

Burnout and diving under the wave.

I've taken "days off" from some of my daily routine activities in the name of attempting to do an intelligent emotional aikido move that I'd call "diving under the wave". Some sensation of lowness, slowness and heaviness hit me like a massive wave hits a beach, resulting in some disintegration as well, and I decided … Continue reading Burnout and diving under the wave.