I saw clouds of sadness of slowness I was welcoming solitude with a safety net with an "other shore". . I'm not sure why it's so difficult: either I am with you, and then I feel the compulsion to know in each split second what exactly you expect from me, what to say, what to … Continue reading Torn between the company of humans, of nature, of self. Some perhaps autistic perspectives.
Personal stories in the context of #TakeTheMaskOff – hiding and camouflaging autism spectrum traits for so-called social acceptability. How I did it, why and how I'm doing it less, results. . Accusations of authenticity I've been accused by a friend, a while ago, of always trying to be completely authentic. Even in situations in which … Continue reading Autistic masking and authenticity. #TakeTheMaskOff
When leaving Berlin last time, I forgot my laptop charger. I was so extremely focussed on not forgetting to put the laptop into the case and the case into the bag (seems that's sufficient executive function complexity for my travel stressed mind) that I forgot to routine check where the charger is. I don't like … Continue reading Another one on anchors and lighthouses. Losing electronics while traveling and the joys of aspie meltdowns in unknown places.
After a very happy time (during which I usually don't bother to write 🙂 ) followed by a short, sudden, abrupt, and fairly visceral episode of depression that lasted just a few days, I came up with the project of writing about depression while my head is above the water – to write an article … Continue reading Why invite depression for a chat when not depressed?
I've been somewhat lost and stranded in Berlin these days, after spontaneous visits, trips, time in the mountains ... living in other people's and their parents' houses. After four months of hermitage, I got an invitation and decided to follow it. Two weeks were great, week three starts with nosebleed, emotional flu and a bout … Continue reading Ships & lighthouses, pillars of identity, and why to sacrifice to the Hungry Gods
Being me for me always implies some degree of being you. My nature doesn't come with built-in walls and noise cancellation and convenient, numb dampening. It must be comfortable to be cushioned, exposed largely only to your own thoughts. I can do that if i am alone in the forest. Or if i live very … Continue reading Being you
You are beautiful. there's some beauty, fragile like snow in between gestures and silence. your presence absorbs screams and grating sounds like sand absorbs raindrops. you lead me back to zero. . you lead me back to your zero. i hook my psi radar to it and i am calm or happy for a few … Continue reading snowflakes in august, springs of the clockwork