Long break from writing. Moving to another city in another country and a different (sub)culture, living with something like a partner, dealing with city, changes, trying to manage arranging an apartment. Too much to deal with to keep a focus on writing. Both good times in a busy way, and just overwhelm from too many … Continue reading Update on autistics in cities, sanity as a currency and tribal apoptosis
particles of darkness along a spine deep-seated, held for generations in flesh that was held tight we coexist with small dark particles of darkness and light they easily penetrate our bodies small beings of light and dark easily visit and disperse the erasure of darkness is not the point. the earth is exactly halfway between … Continue reading we coexist
hibernation slowness interiority clearly, the solstice has passed. clearly ... the inner ball of light takes on a glow becomes more distinct as the outer light fades. there is a relief. rain. there is a phase, justified by nature, for retreating. for thinking, for curling the energy inwards. digestion. of the year. (of the heat … Continue reading Eclipse
Apparently, the strategy I came up with last time when writing about this topic works somewhat (Why invite depression for a chat when not depressed?) – that strategy is simply not freaking out (anymore, for the 5,000,000 time) about the repetitive and unavoidable. At least it seems that when darker episodes come ... they come … Continue reading Depression teaches on the nature of the mind. (Philosophy and pseudo-Buddhism from craziness.)
Could I learn from you – freedom? I felt your heart wasn't chained your mind wasn't chained. You had no securities and you were at times fragile and naked like a snail or the wing of an insect, still moist and sticky. . Is this enough to be happy? . I wondered how you'd come … Continue reading Freedom
Personal reflections on decades of pseudo-nomadism, packing, love, meaning, painting, and generally pretending to have an adventurous and deep life.
I saw clouds of sadness of slowness I was welcoming solitude with a safety net with an "other shore". . I'm not sure why it's so difficult: either I am with you, and then I feel the compulsion to know in each split second what exactly you expect from me, what to say, what to … Continue reading Torn between the company of humans, of nature, of self. Some perhaps autistic perspectives.
I walked out into the woods talking with you one the phone until darkness fell and I had to find my way back with the deer crossing. . So you say you've been a man, just like I've been a woman. Sometimes you still are. I know, I see that duality, although I'm not sure … Continue reading Sabbath of the (trans) witches at the red river
This post is what it says on the can. Relatively relaxing and pensive piano music that I've played last night at 1 am while being completely tired, falling asleep (eyes closed), and not looking at the keys. This seems to be the most fun, to be honest. Just playing with textures, forgetting about harmony or … Continue reading Song played late night with eyes closed. Piano improvisation.