Relationships without the saviour complex

It's been a while since I've been writing here, largely because I've been cutting down screen time to allow my eyes to get better. And travels. Being stuck alone at home with exceptionally lousy weather outside (storm warnings) is perhaps the moment to catch up. Via a friend's mention and then a good review on … Continue reading Relationships without the saviour complex

Capitalism and honesty

Since I've spent perhaps ten years or move surveying inner landscapes of both self and occasionally others in depth, and found ways to resolve a couple of issues that could have turned out worse through research and ingenuity largely (and maybe perseverance and mistake tolerance), on and off it crosses my mind, or somebody else … Continue reading Capitalism and honesty

A defense of self-pity

A colleague on one of my (perpetual, futile) PhD programs had a huge poster hanging in the office showing a majestic Eagle and saying something to the effect that animals never pity themselves [so – implied – you shouldn't as a human PhD student]. I've often seen this sentiment beaten up, but never quite understood … Continue reading A defense of self-pity

Burnout and diving under the wave.

I've taken "days off" from some of my daily routine activities in the name of attempting to do an intelligent emotional aikido move that I'd call "diving under the wave". Some sensation of lowness, slowness and heaviness hit me like a massive wave hits a beach, resulting in some disintegration as well, and I decided … Continue reading Burnout and diving under the wave.

Intense, complex, driven

Yesterday, in the post I published today, because yesterday I found it too pointless, I've mentioned my progressive and fairly cyclical identity explorations. Unpacking layer after layer of the onion, the onion being why on earth everything is so weird and it seems so undoable to live as an adult, or to "live like others" … Continue reading Intense, complex, driven

The new strategy with grief, sadness and depression

Inspired by almost a year of working through Karla McLaren's Dynamic Emotional Integration model, and more recently specifically by Jessica Moore's articulate video on situational depression (the one that comes closest to my felt truth on the matter so far), I have recently on a long train ride taken up the resolution to try out … Continue reading The new strategy with grief, sadness and depression

Guitar messing about making up chords (sound journal)

So it seems like I can mostly only write when I'm down; or very solitary. Seems like that's when I have the drive to. It seems though that there is still the possibility of talking through music, typically the more direct form of expression. This morning I decided to play around with modifying chord … Continue reading Guitar messing about making up chords (sound journal)