A personal response to a bunch of fundamental questions thrown open by a friend. On the state of the world. Ecology, politics, disaster, apocalypse, social injustice — recap on the ancient "suffering in the world" question. Attempts at living sensitive and open, not go either numb or crazy, perhaps be useful. From a moderately privileged, queer autistic first/second-world perspective. (Spoiler: non-political, ahimsa, empaths, buddhism, zarathustra, and nuanced hope. Despite topic no trigger warnings, presumably safe to read.)
Reflections on similarities and cross-connections between being a cultural outsider (migrant, third culture kid, cross-cultural, bilingual) and conceptualising aspie-style autism as a (sub)cultural difference. Life experiences and resources.
Personal account of realising quite late that I've been masking autism (playing normal) for a very long time; recounting related history of mental health troubles, family insights (autistic parent), relationship insights, meltdowns and shutdowns, regrets, hopes, reflections, images, metaphors about the experience. From the perspective of a queer aspie; contains emotions, existential reflections, the Japanese flag as a substitute for a Dali painting, and resources on autistic women / girls and masking.
. Whenever life confined me to solitude (with loneliness and feelings of abandonment being my most frequent tormentor), I tried to turn it around and remember that at age 10 ... or 8 ... I don't remember ... I wanted to be a monk. I try to tell myself, Look, this is the Himalaya you've … Continue reading Vague variations on the ten bulls (a Zen parable on taming the mind)
Personal narrative about emotionally traveling between disability and diffability models of autism, after realising that autism applies to me – a person who was considered more "able" than average for most of their life. Some ego crashes, juicy details, and reflections on the precariousness of privilege.
This is another bookish post, based on having read Roeper (1982) How the gifted cope with their emotions yesterday. Having been 99% sure that everything points to me being an aspie, I wanted to check the last other possibility that seemed open, namely that most of my social unusualness and permanent feelings of isolation (or there … Continue reading Using giftedness to mask autism; overlooked gifted autistic girls
Bookish and theory (but also exhibitionist personal) post on whether what's called "mental health crises" in contemporary parlance is equally well – or better – conceptualised as either the necessary growth pains of personality development (Dąbrowski's Theory of Positive Disintegration; post-traumatic growth theorists) or the breakthrough moments in spiritual development (Brogan, McLaren, and lots of others including New Age shamanism). Includes bibliographical and Pink Floyd references.