We are the world.

A personal response to a bunch of fundamental questions thrown open by a friend. On the state of the world. Ecology, politics, disaster, apocalypse, social injustice — recap on the ancient "suffering in the world" question. Attempts at living sensitive and open, not go either numb or crazy, perhaps be useful. From a moderately privileged, queer autistic first/second-world perspective. (Spoiler: non-political, ahimsa, empaths, buddhism, zarathustra, and nuanced hope. Despite topic no trigger warnings, presumably safe to read.)


Autism and/as cultural outsiderhood – aspies and third culture kids.

Reflections on similarities and cross-connections between being a cultural outsider (migrant, third culture kid, cross-cultural, bilingual) and conceptualising aspie-style autism as a (sub)cultural difference. Life experiences and resources.

Communing with the truth

Personal account of realising quite late that I've been masking autism (playing normal) for a very long time; recounting related history of mental health troubles, family insights (autistic parent), relationship insights, meltdowns and shutdowns, regrets, hopes, reflections, images, metaphors about the experience. From the perspective of a queer aspie; contains emotions, existential reflections, the Japanese flag as a substitute for a Dali painting, and resources on autistic women / girls and masking.

Vague variations on the ten bulls (a Zen parable on taming the mind)

. Whenever life confined me to solitude (with loneliness and feelings of abandonment being my most frequent tormentor), I tried to turn it around and remember that at age 10 ... or 8 ... I don't remember ... I wanted to be a monk. I try to tell myself, Look, this is the Himalaya you've … Continue reading Vague variations on the ten bulls (a Zen parable on taming the mind)

Using giftedness to mask autism; overlooked gifted autistic girls

This is another bookish post, based on having read Roeper (1982) How the gifted cope with their emotions yesterday. Having been 99% sure that everything points to me being an aspie, I wanted to check the last other possibility that seemed open, namely that most of my social unusualness and permanent feelings of isolation (or there … Continue reading Using giftedness to mask autism; overlooked gifted autistic girls

Positive disintegration, mental health crises as shamanic awakenings, post-traumatic growth, and self-delusion

Bookish and theory (but also exhibitionist personal) post on whether what's called "mental health crises" in contemporary parlance is equally well – or better – conceptualised as either the necessary growth pains of personality development (Dąbrowski's Theory of Positive Disintegration; post-traumatic growth theorists) or the breakthrough moments in spiritual development (Brogan, McLaren, and lots of others including New Age shamanism). Includes bibliographical and Pink Floyd references.