A personal response to a bunch of fundamental questions thrown open by a friend. On the state of the world. Ecology, politics, disaster, apocalypse, social injustice — recap on the ancient "suffering in the world" question. Attempts at living sensitive and open, not go either numb or crazy, perhaps be useful. From a moderately privileged, queer autistic first/second-world perspective. (Spoiler: non-political, ahimsa, empaths, buddhism, zarathustra, and nuanced hope. Despite topic no trigger warnings, presumably safe to read.)
Reflections on similarities and cross-connections between being a cultural outsider (migrant, third culture kid, cross-cultural, bilingual) and conceptualising aspie-style autism as a (sub)cultural difference. Life experiences and resources.
... I can't do it. I'm too rational for that. I know they will do what their deepest will is, what their ultimate rightness is. I'm not here to oppose the plans of Time, of the tao, to change the dharma. I understand (and I feel) when people want to leave. * I strongly suspect … Continue reading Descending into the Hades negotiating over souls
Personal account of realising quite late that I've been masking autism (playing normal) for a very long time; recounting related history of mental health troubles, family insights (autistic parent), relationship insights, meltdowns and shutdowns, regrets, hopes, reflections, images, metaphors about the experience. From the perspective of a queer aspie; contains emotions, existential reflections, the Japanese flag as a substitute for a Dali painting, and resources on autistic women / girls and masking.
A somewhat questionable post on dance improvisation, body awareness (feeling the internal states and thoughts of the body), proprioception, interoception, and (perhaps) specifically autistic movement needs (from my personal perspective; no general rules). Includes embarrassing dance club stories and a theory on craving movement, weight and resistance as desperately needed proprioceptive grounding when your proprioception is by nature foggy / hypo-sensitive.
. Whenever life confined me to solitude (with loneliness and feelings of abandonment being my most frequent tormentor), I tried to turn it around and remember that at age 10 ... or 8 ... I don't remember ... I wanted to be a monk. I try to tell myself, Look, this is the Himalaya you've … Continue reading Vague variations on the ten bulls (a Zen parable on taming the mind)
Personal narrative about emotionally traveling between disability and diffability models of autism, after realising that autism applies to me – a person who was considered more "able" than average for most of their life. Some ego crashes, juicy details, and reflections on the precariousness of privilege.