I've been somewhat lost and stranded in Berlin these days, after spontaneous visits, trips, time in the mountains ... living in other people's and their parents' houses. After four months of hermitage, I got an invitation and decided to follow it. Two weeks were great, week three starts with nosebleed, emotional flu and a bout … Continue reading Ships & lighthouses, pillars of identity, and why to sacrifice to the Hungry Gods
I wear other people's clothes. I can't resist wanting to know what it's like to be you. Maybe it's better than being me. . Maybe it's a bit of relief from being me. A north star, because being me is disorienting. Quiet and disorienting in that no one has taught me to read the shapes … Continue reading I wear other people’s clothes
Today I've given myself the freedom to be rejected. To reject also – not as in "get the hell out of here you worthless sucker", but simply as in: this does not seem to engage me, touch my strings, or feel fruitful. Perhaps it's jarring. Let me withdraw my energy in directions that are nourishing. … Continue reading The freedom to reject and be rejected
I've been planning to write a post about solitude, loneliness and isolation for a while. Is solitude good or bad? Everyone thinks it's bad. And I'm crazy I got myself into it. Then why the heck did I get myself into it? Is hiding yourself away in the country for months without having a face-to-face … Continue reading How to walk the tightrope between social burnout and agonising isolation?
Desire, hope, insecurity, disappointment. Hope, desire, hesitance, disappointment. Insecurity. Disappointment. Relief. . Some of us are bounceballs. But some are eggs. I'm not sure if you made sense of the sequences above, but that's what life seems to be made of in large part. For some of us these cycles are greater, deeper, more intense, … Continue reading How to keep your balance across cycles of desire and disappointment
I've just finished drafting the first part of my empath guide project. It answers the ominous yet fundamental question ... Are you an empath? ... in a way you probably aren't used to, with a logical and science-trained aspie mind that's been obsessing about these questions for a while. No angels, crystals, orbs, salt baths, … Continue reading A slightly scientific empath guide (with neuroscience and synaesthesia). Part 1.
I have written both about high sensitivity (in Elaine Aron's sense) and energy sensitivity before. In the last weeks, as I have been receiving guests to my hermitage after a looong (involuntary) solitary retreat, and especially last weekend, it "clicked" for me. Below is another fun exercise in cataloguing human neurodiversity (or my obnoxious pattern-matching … Continue reading What is the difference between high sensitivity and energy sensitivity? HSP vs. empath. Features the ghost at the lake.