Song played late night with eyes closed. Piano improvisation.

This post is what it says on the can. Relatively relaxing and pensive piano music that I've played last night at 1 am while being completely tired, falling asleep (eyes closed), and not looking at the keys. This seems to be the most fun, to be honest. Just playing with textures, forgetting about harmony or … Continue reading Song played late night with eyes closed. Piano improvisation.

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Interpersonal pain, Frankl’s dread of ageing, and Momo

[continued from Ships & lighthouses after interruption and a bit random] * If loss is delusion because possession is delusion (at least of some abstract "things" like time) ... what about the abrasiveness of interpersonal pain? The jarring headache of mismatch, miscommunication, my old friend the glass wall (whether it's autism, depression, emigration, queerness or … Continue reading Interpersonal pain, Frankl’s dread of ageing, and Momo

Ships & lighthouses, pillars of identity, and why to sacrifice to the Hungry Gods

I've been somewhat lost and stranded in Berlin these days, after spontaneous visits, trips, time in the mountains ... living in other people's and their parents' houses. After four months of hermitage, I got an invitation and decided to follow it. Two weeks were great, week three starts with nosebleed, emotional flu and a bout … Continue reading Ships & lighthouses, pillars of identity, and why to sacrifice to the Hungry Gods

snowflakes in august, springs of the clockwork

You are beautiful. there's some beauty, fragile like snow in between gestures and silence. your presence absorbs screams and grating sounds like sand absorbs raindrops. you lead me back to zero. . you lead me back to your zero. i hook my psi radar to it and i am calm or happy for a few … Continue reading snowflakes in august, springs of the clockwork

Berlin mon amour, migrant dilemmas

as they do in Romania, a pig probably has to be slaughtered. the question is in the choice of pig. some good candidates are pride, identity, comfort, psychological defences, love, money, career, or perhaps home, childhood; the past, the future, memories, or hopes. it's a good menu. apparently slaughtering nothing leads to nothing to eat … Continue reading Berlin mon amour, migrant dilemmas

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Some of us had to watch the catastrophe

Some of us had to watch the catastrophe Before we had the baseline We actually learnt to live that way. . Fixing the catastrophe is more important than sleeping Than eating And there is no concept of well-being. It seems presumptuous. . Some of us are not naturally selfish. I would give my blood for … Continue reading Some of us had to watch the catastrophe