Song played late night with eyes closed. Piano improvisation.

This post is what it says on the can. Relatively relaxing and pensive piano music that I've played last night at 1 am while being completely tired, falling asleep (eyes closed), and not looking at the keys. This seems to be the most fun, to be honest. Just playing with textures, forgetting about harmony or … Continue reading Song played late night with eyes closed. Piano improvisation.

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Interpersonal pain, Frankl’s dread of ageing, and Momo

[continued from Ships & lighthouses after interruption and a bit random] * If loss is delusion because possession is delusion (at least of some abstract "things" like time) ... what about the abrasiveness of interpersonal pain? The jarring headache of mismatch, miscommunication, my old friend the glass wall (whether it's autism, depression, emigration, queerness or … Continue reading Interpersonal pain, Frankl’s dread of ageing, and Momo

Ships & lighthouses, pillars of identity, and why to sacrifice to the Hungry Gods

I've been somewhat lost and stranded in Berlin these days, after spontaneous visits, trips, time in the mountains ... living in other people's and their parents' houses. After four months of hermitage, I got an invitation and decided to follow it. Two weeks were great, week three starts with nosebleed, emotional flu and a bout … Continue reading Ships & lighthouses, pillars of identity, and why to sacrifice to the Hungry Gods

Berlin mon amour, migrant dilemmas

as they do in Romania, a pig probably has to be slaughtered. the question is in the choice of pig. some good candidates are pride, identity, comfort, psychological defences, love, money, career, or perhaps home, childhood; the past, the future, memories, or hopes. it's a good menu. apparently slaughtering nothing leads to nothing to eat … Continue reading Berlin mon amour, migrant dilemmas

Can you hear the questions? (in today’s piano improv soundtrack)

This post has a soundtrack, me asking a bunch of questions on the piano. https://soundcloud.com/sasha-supertramp/questions . Can you hear the questions? - space to guess what the main question was - . Somehow I've been dwelling in nonverbal land, still there. Emotions, sounds, sights, shapes, colours, feelings, patterns, rhythms, movements, metamorphoses. Waiting for the periodic … Continue reading Can you hear the questions? (in today’s piano improv soundtrack)

How to keep your balance across cycles of desire and disappointment

Desire, hope, insecurity, disappointment. Hope, desire, hesitance, disappointment. Insecurity. Disappointment. Relief. . Some of us are bounceballs. But some are eggs. I'm not sure if you made sense of the sequences above, but that's what life seems to be made of in large part. For some of us these cycles are greater, deeper, more intense, … Continue reading How to keep your balance across cycles of desire and disappointment