I've written about adventures in implicit memory a while ago. Apparently, there's a type of memory in which everything is simultaneous – or, at least, whenever something is recalled, it feels just as if it were present. In neuroscience and psychology, the standard terms are explicit vs. implicit memory, where the former is verbal-based and … Continue reading What do you call a trip guide journeying in implicit memory?
I've taken "days off" from some of my daily routine activities in the name of attempting to do an intelligent emotional aikido move that I'd call "diving under the wave". Some sensation of lowness, slowness and heaviness hit me like a massive wave hits a beach, resulting in some disintegration as well, and I decided … Continue reading Burnout and diving under the wave.
So again, I missed yesterday because of a "wave" and have some catching up to do. I strongly suspect that today's practice will be the practice of accepting to produce some low-quality writing 😀 It's hard to get started, so perhaps I can again start with some self-centred topic. Maybe shame is a good one. … Continue reading What’s the difference between depression and grief, and what to do with either?
Today I'm actually even more "fatigued" than yesterday; not necessarily by writing, but by a "wave". Dreams about water. I have recently, with some help from the first useful therapist I've ever met, figured out another one of the repetitive dream symbols that have appeared to me over decades. Ok, the helps was fairly indirect … Continue reading Fragile animals and derailed trains, dreams and the vengefulness of the soul realm.
This morning when thinking about what to feed the blog (in the name of daily discipline), thoughts were vacillating between two themes: one was "see everything"; the other was "dread of the catastrophic mistake". I later thought that they are connected – no big discovery given that, given any two complex enough things, my brain … Continue reading Eyesight health, the goldfish, and dread of the catastrophic mistake.
This blog is about a year old now. Since my life has shifted quite a bit since I've started writing it, I keep thinking about re-branding or re-conceptualising what this is about. Actually the subject I might have the most things to say on recently is "survival in Berlin". Perhaps it's also relationships. Yes, I … Continue reading One year of hyper-empathy
I usually don't write about the good times on here because writing is mostly my tool for getting through the tougher times. When I'm well, I stay off screens; I stay outdoors, or around people without distracting myself with electronic devices. Some thoughts have been circulating lately around the topic of trauma healing (in this … Continue reading Getting half a handle on some basic trauma-digestion processes
In a "better", by most measures, life situation, still waves of this "post-war" type of apocalyptic depression return at critical moments. I guess I call it post-war because the inner image my eye sees is perhaps akin to how Warsaw after the uprising gets pictured (below an artist's rendering, I believe). The inner image is … Continue reading More ropes for traversing despair and depression; perhaps on perinatal trauma
I don't like when I've got some paint left on the palette that would just dry up and be wasted. For some reason often red paint remains. I had a lot of red paint today and decided to use it up in some way, and produced a series of abstractions that I honestly like because … Continue reading Leftover red paint #1