Leftover red paint #1

I don't like when I've got some paint left on the palette that would just dry up and be wasted. For some reason often red paint remains.  I had a lot of red paint today and decided to use it up in some way, and produced a series of abstractions that I honestly like because … Continue reading Leftover red paint #1


Urban retreat and nervous system deregulation

Since my partner left on a business trip, I've been torn between doing a silent retreat back in my village, or just staying in the hellish city and trying to do the same – the upside here being that it saves me 2 days of travel and 2 additional days of anxiety/exhaustion around travel.  My … Continue reading Urban retreat and nervous system deregulation

Celan and the mother tongue

I vaguely remember reading that Paul Celan, the Jewish-German poet born in Romania and going through the Shoah, had issues writing in German after the Holocaust.  That makes more than sense. Yet, wikipedia claims he said: "There is nothing in the world for which a poet will give up writing, not even when he is a … Continue reading Celan and the mother tongue

Intergenerational trauma re-play

It was definitely a well-scripted play. Setting, surprise, suspense, culmination, resolution, aftermath, reverberations. A good portion of drama, directed by the echoes of the past, the fruitfulness and irritability of the moment, and a certain aesthetic sensitivity. Philharmonic sensitivity. When to increase the tension and volume, when to let it abate. The fallout was and … Continue reading Intergenerational trauma re-play

Language and trauma

/*this is a mild article on trauma related to cultural alienation from the perspective of someone whose migration experiences weren't dramatic or violent thank God, so no trigger warnings. Brief and non-graphic mention of a friend's refugee camp story*/ This morning found myself looking at the signup information for a professional course in trauma therapy … Continue reading Language and trauma

Berlin mon amour, migrant dilemmas

as they do in Romania, a pig probably has to be slaughtered. the question is in the choice of pig. some good candidates are pride, identity, comfort, psychological defences, love, money, career, or perhaps home, childhood; the past, the future, memories, or hopes. it's a good menu. apparently slaughtering nothing leads to nothing to eat … Continue reading Berlin mon amour, migrant dilemmas

A cryptic and paradoxical text on soul reintegration

You've left me to the wolves. You didn't even know they exist, or that you were doing it. They are far more terrifying than anything you have ever seen. If you had seen them, i would know that by the marks on your soul. I saw more than you. . You didnt see the bright … Continue reading A cryptic and paradoxical text on soul reintegration

How to get out of anger loops. And why honouring anger is vital especially for HSPs, empaths, and every stripe of cultural underdog.

Anger defines the boundary between a "yes" and an organic "no". This "no" does not arise in your head (intellectual thoughts). It arises in your belly, for the most part. Perhaps the heart participates in it, when the anger concerns injustice done to another. (And if it is rage, it may even arise in your … Continue reading How to get out of anger loops. And why honouring anger is vital especially for HSPs, empaths, and every stripe of cultural underdog.