On Pete Walker's book about Complex PTSD, the Fawn response to emotional neglect, how sensitive we are and how confusing mind-reading can become the habitual response to confronting humans.
Another post on how to cope with intuitive gifts (or liabilities) that come without a manual, or when your inner life apparently isn't only *your* inner life. Trauma-informed and psychologically literate, non-esoteric perspective.
This is a mixed essay starting out with my personal struggles with the "autistic" label to complaints about rigid identity politics towards bookish theories about a missing distinction between the sensitivity vs. coping strategies dimensions of the "autism" concept.
It's been a while since I've been writing here, largely because I've been cutting down screen time to allow my eyes to get better. And travels. Being stuck alone at home with exceptionally lousy weather outside (storm warnings) is perhaps the moment to catch up. Via a friend's mention and then a good review on … Continue reading Relationships without the saviour complex
I've written about adventures in implicit memory a while ago. Apparently, there's a type of memory in which everything is simultaneous – or, at least, whenever something is recalled, it feels just as if it were present. In neuroscience and psychology, the standard terms are explicit vs. implicit memory, where the former is verbal-based and … Continue reading What do you call a trip guide journeying in implicit memory?
I've taken "days off" from some of my daily routine activities in the name of attempting to do an intelligent emotional aikido move that I'd call "diving under the wave". Some sensation of lowness, slowness and heaviness hit me like a massive wave hits a beach, resulting in some disintegration as well, and I decided … Continue reading Burnout and diving under the wave.
So again, I missed yesterday because of a "wave" and have some catching up to do. I strongly suspect that today's practice will be the practice of accepting to produce some low-quality writing 😀 It's hard to get started, so perhaps I can again start with some self-centred topic. Maybe shame is a good one. … Continue reading What’s the difference between depression and grief, and what to do with either?
Today I'm actually even more "fatigued" than yesterday; not necessarily by writing, but by a "wave". Dreams about water. I have recently, with some help from the first useful therapist I've ever met, figured out another one of the repetitive dream symbols that have appeared to me over decades. Ok, the helps was fairly indirect … Continue reading Fragile animals and derailed trains, dreams and the vengefulness of the soul realm.
This morning when thinking about what to feed the blog (in the name of daily discipline), thoughts were vacillating between two themes: one was "see everything"; the other was "dread of the catastrophic mistake". I later thought that they are connected – no big discovery given that, given any two complex enough things, my brain … Continue reading Eyesight health, the goldfish, and dread of the catastrophic mistake.