When leaving Berlin last time, I forgot my laptop charger. I was so extremely focussed on not forgetting to put the laptop into the case and the case into the bag (seems that's sufficient executive function complexity for my travel stressed mind) that I forgot to routine check where the charger is. I don't like … Continue reading Another one on anchors and lighthouses. Losing electronics while traveling and the joys of aspie meltdowns in unknown places.
After a very happy time (during which I usually don't bother to write 🙂 ) followed by a short, sudden, abrupt, and fairly visceral episode of depression that lasted just a few days, I came up with the project of writing about depression while my head is above the water – to write an article … Continue reading Why invite depression for a chat when not depressed?
I've been somewhat lost and stranded in Berlin these days, after spontaneous visits, trips, time in the mountains ... living in other people's and their parents' houses. After four months of hermitage, I got an invitation and decided to follow it. Two weeks were great, week three starts with nosebleed, emotional flu and a bout … Continue reading Ships & lighthouses, pillars of identity, and why to sacrifice to the Hungry Gods
Being me for me always implies some degree of being you. My nature doesn't come with built-in walls and noise cancellation and convenient, numb dampening. It must be comfortable to be cushioned, exposed largely only to your own thoughts. I can do that if i am alone in the forest. Or if i live very … Continue reading Being you
You are beautiful. there's some beauty, fragile like snow in between gestures and silence. your presence absorbs screams and grating sounds like sand absorbs raindrops. you lead me back to zero. . you lead me back to your zero. i hook my psi radar to it and i am calm or happy for a few … Continue reading snowflakes in august, springs of the clockwork
A snake bit me in the Pyrenees It was the Franciscan snake Of empty-handedness, humility and trust If i want to help you, I cannot do more than the Biblical God. Yhwh (being the one who is) I can easily wait for you for decades I think i gave up talking And thinking Thank you … Continue reading The Franciscan snake
Some of us had to watch the catastrophe Before we had the baseline We actually learnt to live that way. . Fixing the catastrophe is more important than sleeping Than eating And there is no concept of well-being. It seems presumptuous. . Some of us are not naturally selfish. I would give my blood for … Continue reading Some of us had to watch the catastrophe
sometimes when I feel happiness, there is a deep, bitter sting of pain in the flesh of that fruit the contrast is a painful reminder that i've forgotten this soil exists. over many years. .
This is another day when I don't really have words. But here is what it feels like to be me today. And this piece is for Jenna. . Do you understand the language of sounds? . https://soundcloud.com/sasha-supertramp/what-it-feels-like-to-be-me-today-for-jenna . Another musical journal entry happened on May 11. Need endless improvised piano music for contemplation & meditation, … Continue reading Journal entry in music (July 10). Calm improvised piano music for thinking and feeling.