I've just once again thought of changing the name of my blog. For one, not living up to it. For another, kind of a pretentious title. Something absurd and witty perhaps. Then a few days ago, I bumped into an article on "being too sensitive" on everydayfeminism.com. In the context of black people's emotional reactions to … Continue reading Sensitivity is strength
Having recently talked to an autism educator (at autismmatters.org.uk) and educated myself otherwise on the matter, I learnt that my current life situation seems to be quite the aspie classic: three degrees, three failed PhDs, no job, no house (residence in 6 countries and counting), constant background anxiety and and bouts of depression devolving the … Continue reading Human, just more so
I so much like part of you. That part. I can almost fall in love with it, it's exceptional, it's fantastic, and unique, I haven't been able to find anything equal over the years. I don't think there can be another person like you. If that part is so awesome, the rest must be fantastic … Continue reading Part of you
It was definitely a well-scripted play. Setting, surprise, suspense, culmination, resolution, aftermath, reverberations. A good portion of drama, directed by the echoes of the past, the fruitfulness and irritability of the moment, and a certain aesthetic sensitivity. Philharmonic sensitivity. When to increase the tension and volume, when to let it abate. The fallout was and … Continue reading Intergenerational trauma re-play
Could I learn from you – freedom? I felt your heart wasn't chained your mind wasn't chained. You had no securities and you were at times fragile and naked like a snail or the wing of an insect, still moist and sticky. . Is this enough to be happy? . I wondered how you'd come … Continue reading Freedom
I saw clouds of sadness of slowness I was welcoming solitude with a safety net with an "other shore". . I'm not sure why it's so difficult: either I am with you, and then I feel the compulsion to know in each split second what exactly you expect from me, what to say, what to … Continue reading Torn between the company of humans, of nature, of self. Some perhaps autistic perspectives.
Personal stories in the context of #TakeTheMaskOff – hiding and camouflaging autism spectrum traits for so-called social acceptability. How I did it, why and how I'm doing it less, results. . Accusations of authenticity I've been accused by a friend, a while ago, of always trying to be completely authentic. Even in situations in which … Continue reading Autistic masking and authenticity. #TakeTheMaskOff
After a very happy time (during which I usually don't bother to write 🙂 ) followed by a short, sudden, abrupt, and fairly visceral episode of depression that lasted just a few days, I came up with the project of writing about depression while my head is above the water – to write an article … Continue reading Why invite depression for a chat when not depressed?
I've been somewhat lost and stranded in Berlin these days, after spontaneous visits, trips, time in the mountains ... living in other people's and their parents' houses. After four months of hermitage, I got an invitation and decided to follow it. Two weeks were great, week three starts with nosebleed, emotional flu and a bout … Continue reading Ships & lighthouses, pillars of identity, and why to sacrifice to the Hungry Gods