Long break from writing. Moving to another city in another country and a different (sub)culture, living with something like a partner, dealing with city, changes, trying to manage arranging an apartment. Too much to deal with to keep a focus on writing. Both good times in a busy way, and just overwhelm from too many … Continue reading Update on autistics in cities, sanity as a currency and tribal apoptosis
It was definitely a well-scripted play. Setting, surprise, suspense, culmination, resolution, aftermath, reverberations. A good portion of drama, directed by the echoes of the past, the fruitfulness and irritability of the moment, and a certain aesthetic sensitivity. Philharmonic sensitivity. When to increase the tension and volume, when to let it abate. The fallout was and … Continue reading Intergenerational trauma re-play
Today I've given myself the freedom to be rejected. To reject also – not as in "get the hell out of here you worthless sucker", but simply as in: this does not seem to engage me, touch my strings, or feel fruitful. Perhaps it's jarring. Let me withdraw my energy in directions that are nourishing. … Continue reading The freedom to reject and be rejected
I've just finished drafting the first part of my empath guide project. It answers the ominous yet fundamental question ... Are you an empath? ... in a way you probably aren't used to, with a logical and science-trained aspie mind that's been obsessing about these questions for a while. No angels, crystals, orbs, salt baths, … Continue reading A slightly scientific empath guide (with neuroscience and synaesthesia). Part 1.
I have written both about high sensitivity (in Elaine Aron's sense) and energy sensitivity before. In the last weeks, as I have been receiving guests to my hermitage after a looong (involuntary) solitary retreat, and especially last weekend, it "clicked" for me. Below is another fun exercise in cataloguing human neurodiversity (or my obnoxious pattern-matching … Continue reading What is the difference between high sensitivity and energy sensitivity? HSP vs. empath. Features the ghost at the lake.
Reflections on similarities and cross-connections between being a cultural outsider (migrant, third culture kid, cross-cultural, bilingual) and conceptualising aspie-style autism as a (sub)cultural difference. Life experiences and resources.
Personal account of realising quite late that I've been masking autism (playing normal) for a very long time; recounting related history of mental health troubles, family insights (autistic parent), relationship insights, meltdowns and shutdowns, regrets, hopes, reflections, images, metaphors about the experience. From the perspective of a queer aspie; contains emotions, existential reflections, the Japanese flag as a substitute for a Dali painting, and resources on autistic women / girls and masking.
A somewhat questionable post on dance improvisation, body awareness (feeling the internal states and thoughts of the body), proprioception, interoception, and (perhaps) specifically autistic movement needs (from my personal perspective; no general rules). Includes embarrassing dance club stories and a theory on craving movement, weight and resistance as desperately needed proprioceptive grounding when your proprioception is by nature foggy / hypo-sensitive.
. Whenever life confined me to solitude (with loneliness and feelings of abandonment being my most frequent tormentor), I tried to turn it around and remember that at age 10 ... or 8 ... I don't remember ... I wanted to be a monk. I try to tell myself, Look, this is the Himalaya you've … Continue reading Vague variations on the ten bulls. A Zen parable on taming the mind in solitude.