Burnout and diving under the wave.

I've taken "days off" from some of my daily routine activities in the name of attempting to do an intelligent emotional aikido move that I'd call "diving under the wave". Some sensation of lowness, slowness and heaviness hit me like a massive wave hits a beach, resulting in some disintegration as well, and I decided … Continue reading Burnout and diving under the wave.

Fragile animals and derailed trains, dreams and the vengefulness of the soul realm.

Today I'm actually even more "fatigued" than yesterday; not necessarily by writing, but by a "wave". Dreams about water. I have recently, with some help from the first useful therapist I've ever met, figured out another one of the repetitive dream symbols that have appeared to me over decades. Ok, the helps was fairly indirect … Continue reading Fragile animals and derailed trains, dreams and the vengefulness of the soul realm.

On hyper-empathy in the age of cities, strangers, mass and social media

Despite my attempts at basic witchcraft training in that regard, when attempting to leave my hermit’s cocoon and participate further in (some semblance of a) social life, I see the same old problem up-surging, the same ones that brought me into hermitage in the first place. There are people who are unbelievably wounded and whose … Continue reading On hyper-empathy in the age of cities, strangers, mass and social media

The new strategy with grief, sadness and depression

Inspired by almost a year of working through Karla McLaren's Dynamic Emotional Integration model, and more recently specifically by Jessica Moore's articulate video on situational depression (the one that comes closest to my felt truth on the matter so far), I have recently on a long train ride taken up the resolution to try out … Continue reading The new strategy with grief, sadness and depression

Washing machine blues # dilemmas of empathy

Waiting for the washing machine to finish washing, contemplating events of the day. My friend who got denied his application for benefits that I was hoping would pull him out of where he's been for decades. Disappointment, pain, and some practice in empathy balancing: me getting worried makes it worse for him. Thinking about empathy, … Continue reading Washing machine blues # dilemmas of empathy

Ruining zen sketches on Dec 5

I frequently like my sketches much better than my finished paintings.  As mentioned in the previous post, I often prefer not to finish anything because my feeling is that adding more stuff will inevitably ruin it.  An example is provided below.  I enjoyed looking at this, vague landscape sketch. Leaving room for imagination. Pushed myself … Continue reading Ruining zen sketches on Dec 5