hibernation slowness interiority clearly, the solstice has passed. clearly ... the inner ball of light takes on a glow becomes more distinct as the outer light fades. there is a relief. rain. there is a phase, justified by nature, for retreating. for thinking, for curling the energy inwards. digestion. of the year. (of the heat … Continue reading Eclipse
Could I learn from you – freedom? I felt your heart wasn't chained your mind wasn't chained. You had no securities and you were at times fragile and naked like a snail or the wing of an insect, still moist and sticky. . Is this enough to be happy? . I wondered how you'd come … Continue reading Freedom
I saw clouds of sadness of slowness I was welcoming solitude with a safety net with an "other shore". . I'm not sure why it's so difficult: either I am with you, and then I feel the compulsion to know in each split second what exactly you expect from me, what to say, what to … Continue reading Torn between the company of humans, of nature, of self. Some perhaps autistic perspectives.
Personal stories in the context of #TakeTheMaskOff – hiding and camouflaging autism spectrum traits for so-called social acceptability. How I did it, why and how I'm doing it less, results. . Accusations of authenticity I've been accused by a friend, a while ago, of always trying to be completely authentic. Even in situations in which … Continue reading Autistic masking and authenticity. #TakeTheMaskOff
When leaving Berlin last time, I forgot my laptop charger. I was so extremely focussed on not forgetting to put the laptop into the case and the case into the bag (seems that's sufficient executive function complexity for my travel stressed mind) that I forgot to routine check where the charger is. I don't like … Continue reading Another one on anchors and lighthouses. Losing electronics while traveling and the joys of aspie meltdowns in unknown places.
The autistic talked to the deaf man And thought That every shaman Must have a disability. Otherwise We do not become Human.
Today I've given myself the freedom to be rejected. To reject also – not as in "get the hell out of here you worthless sucker", but simply as in: this does not seem to engage me, touch my strings, or feel fruitful. Perhaps it's jarring. Let me withdraw my energy in directions that are nourishing. … Continue reading The freedom to reject and be rejected
I've been planning to write a post about solitude, loneliness and isolation for a while. Is solitude good or bad? Everyone thinks it's bad. And I'm crazy I got myself into it. Then why the heck did I get myself into it? Is hiding yourself away in the country for months without having a face-to-face … Continue reading How to walk the tightrope between social burnout and agonising isolation?
I've just finished drafting the first part of my empath guide project. It answers the ominous yet fundamental question ... Are you an empath? ... in a way you probably aren't used to, with a logical and science-trained aspie mind that's been obsessing about these questions for a while. No angels, crystals, orbs, salt baths, … Continue reading A slightly scientific empath guide (with neuroscience and synaesthesia). Part 1.