Freedom

Could I learn from you – freedom? I felt your heart wasn't chained your mind wasn't chained. You had no securities and you were at times fragile and naked like a snail or the wing of an insect, still moist and sticky. . Is this enough to be happy? . I wondered how you'd come … Continue reading Freedom

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Torn between the company of humans, of nature, of self. Some perhaps autistic perspectives.

I saw clouds of sadness of slowness I was welcoming solitude with a safety net with an "other shore". . I'm not sure why it's so difficult: either I am with you, and then I feel the compulsion to know in each split second what exactly you expect from me, what to say, what to … Continue reading Torn between the company of humans, of nature, of self. Some perhaps autistic perspectives.

Autistic masking and authenticity. #TakeTheMaskOff

Personal stories in the context of #TakeTheMaskOff – hiding and camouflaging autism spectrum traits for so-called social acceptability. How I did it, why and how I'm doing it less, results. . Accusations of authenticity I've been accused by a friend, a while ago, of always trying to be completely authentic. Even in situations in which … Continue reading Autistic masking and authenticity. #TakeTheMaskOff

Another one on anchors and lighthouses. Losing electronics while traveling and the joys of aspie meltdowns in unknown places.

When leaving Berlin last time, I forgot my laptop charger. I was so extremely focussed on not forgetting to put the laptop into the case and the case into the bag (seems that's sufficient executive function complexity for my travel stressed mind) that I forgot to routine check where the charger is. I don't like … Continue reading Another one on anchors and lighthouses. Losing electronics while traveling and the joys of aspie meltdowns in unknown places.

The freedom to reject and be rejected

Today I've given myself the freedom to be rejected. To reject also – not as in "get the hell out of here you worthless sucker", but simply as in: this does not seem to engage me, touch my strings, or feel fruitful. Perhaps it's jarring. Let me withdraw my energy in directions that are nourishing. … Continue reading The freedom to reject and be rejected

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How to walk the tightrope between social burnout and agonising isolation?

I've been planning to write a post about solitude, loneliness and isolation for a while. Is solitude good or bad? Everyone thinks it's bad. And I'm crazy I got myself into it. Then why the heck did I get myself into it? Is hiding yourself away in the country for months without having a face-to-face … Continue reading How to walk the tightrope between social burnout and agonising isolation?