Intense, complex, driven

Yesterday, in the post I published today, because yesterday I found it too pointless, I've mentioned my progressive and fairly cyclical identity explorations. Unpacking layer after layer of the onion, the onion being why on earth everything is so weird and it seems so undoable to live as an adult, or to "live like others" … Continue reading Intense, complex, driven

Inner rhythm versus daily discipline?

Already on day 2 of my "let's try to write every day" experiment (related to nanowrimo.org), this feels relatively wrong. I think the price for it is banal content. Or at least, unripe, unstructured content. Beginnings of thoughts, but not really the fruit that's perhaps actually worth sharing. On the other hand, reflections on the … Continue reading Inner rhythm versus daily discipline?

The Zen of myopia rehab, respecting physiological limits in sports, and psych strategies for stretching time

I've taken up an old hobby, interest or passion in the last 3 weeks or so, which is eyesight improvement, or more specifically, myopia rehab. Not the Bates method or other relaxation and accommodation "exercises"; chiefly the method advocated on endmyopia.org and (the better and clearer summary once you know the basics) on gettingstronger.org. If … Continue reading The Zen of myopia rehab, respecting physiological limits in sports, and psych strategies for stretching time

Resistance and desire, studied with the example of acquiring books

I just ordered and received Francis Weller's "The Wild Edge of Sorrow". I haven't gotten beyond the introduction yet, but the resistance to buying that book was remarkable – despite the recommendation coming from a reliable source (Karla McLaren and the Dynamic Emotional Integration course, possibly my best source of book recommendations this year). Frankly, I … Continue reading Resistance and desire, studied with the example of acquiring books

Grief, memory, synchronous time

Motivated to write mostly because of a reduced availability of humans to talk to for hours. So let's just send out speech, produce speech "as if" it were somehow meaningful without a specific listener, to the "internalised other" (which one?), or as a magic spell. The anonymous listener of the internet, some handy magic. Thoughts … Continue reading Grief, memory, synchronous time

On hyper-empathy in the age of cities, strangers, mass and social media

Despite my attempts at basic witchcraft training in that regard, when attempting to leave my hermit’s cocoon and participate further in (some semblance of a) social life, I see the same old problem up-surging, the same ones that brought me into hermitage in the first place. There are people who are unbelievably wounded and whose … Continue reading On hyper-empathy in the age of cities, strangers, mass and social media

Shadow work in depression hacks

As part of a certification course I've recently forced myself to read "Owning your own shadow" by Robert A. Johnson. This was on the way, literally on the train to a lengthy and intense extended family visit back in Poland. The book initially irritated the logic-and-facts oriented part of my mind with its vague metaphysical … Continue reading Shadow work in depression hacks

The new strategy with grief, sadness and depression

Inspired by almost a year of working through Karla McLaren's Dynamic Emotional Integration model, and more recently specifically by Jessica Moore's articulate video on situational depression (the one that comes closest to my felt truth on the matter so far), I have recently on a long train ride taken up the resolution to try out … Continue reading The new strategy with grief, sadness and depression