Part of you

I so much like part of you.

That part.

I can almost fall in love with it,

it’s exceptional, it’s fantastic,

and unique, I haven’t been able to find anything equal over the years.

I don’t think there can be another person like you.

If that part is so awesome,

the rest must be fantastic – that’s only logical, consistent.

Or it doesn’t matter / can be somehow overlooked.

But maybe the rest means

I can’t have you.

If I take it seriously, if I inspect it as an independent factor –

for apparently reality doesn’t have to be consistent, people don’t have to be consistent. You may be very strong and very weak.

In fact, most of the people I have seen who were very strong were also very weak.

We are multidimensional.

Our different axes seem to be frequently quite independent.


So your mind. But you heart?

So your perceptiveness. But your balance?

So your values in this area. But what about that other area, that we need to function together? Realistically, it is a drastic mismatch.

So how can you be two things and once, and why is it so hard to see both at the same time?

There are the distant parts, that I don’t know after many years. I don’t get to see them. I ignore them. They are alien, they don’t have a recognisable, familiar smell on them. What the heck are they? Are they perhaps actually the more central essence of you? Are they the “phantom’s hand” that always makes things – incoherent, unreachable, just somehow slipping away?

Am I hurting myself by not seeing?

How can I see black and white in the same spot, and come up with a coherent, intelligent attitude and (re)action plan to a contrast that is so stark it’s almost a contradiction?

How the heck can I not see things for so many years? Is it because this is really something unusual, not expected, not predictable, inconsistent with statistics – and I should have been very, very open and perceptive to un-encountered patterns given the real data, the minute observations, things I saw but considered not true/real because they were inconsistent? And heck, because I had never seen something like this before? And not sure I’ve seen it since?

Empiricism is recommended; quick pattern-matching of wishful data is discouraged.

I am essentially warm-blooded.

You don’t even see colours.

You touch the world with a stick; I jump in head over heels.

It perhaps wouldn’t matter, but your door is not a door for me.

Things glitter, but there will be other things that glitter more and/or such that nourish. I will take my wanderer’s staff and cover distance communing with the earth again. There are far more than 7 lives.

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