… I can’t do it.
I’m too rational for that.
I know they will do what their deepest will is, what their ultimate rightness is.
I’m not here to oppose the plans of Time, of the tao, to change the dharma.
I understand (and I feel) when people want to leave.
I strongly suspect you paid one of these visits to the other side again.
Your soul is more diffuse.
This time my intuition is clouded by fear.
I feel relief, but I don’t know if it’s relief because everything will be fine,
or because you like it better there.
After years in a body that consisted of so much pain, that I only recently understood where you got your completely unusual, inhuman appreciation for joy.
You help me. A lot. You lift me up.
But I don’t have the conscience to stop you from moving on just because that’s easier for me.
We are cells in a body.
Of course I lost that phone number again. To the only person who probably knows what’s up with you. Still hoping very much my intuition makes mistakes and this is paranoia … that I’m hopefully human, making mistakes based on emotions.
Why wasn’t I scared last year? When I also knew this would happen?
In any case, if your body and soul decide for this side for a little longer, I’ll be here.
I will be here and a cell in this body in all cases.
I feel the life and soul that is adjacent, as you do.